Working the Summer, (a Hugglebugs story)

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Mark Edward Kwiakowski
Ms Midler’s Fifth Grade English
8 September 2009


Working the Summer, How I Spent my Summer Vacation

 

Dear educators and fellow students, a reminder, our assignment states that our stories may be fiction or real, it is up to you to judge.

The summer of 2009, I spent my vacation working, not to say that my vacation was not enjoyable, it was but you might have a hard time believing what I had to go through to get a job for the summer this year. When school ended on Memorial Day weekend, my family lived in Southern Wisconsin in the town of Lake Geneva, just above the Illinois/Wisconsin border. My dad was out of work and my mother was working at the local big box as an assistant manager, still we had little money for me to buy new clothing, school supplies, music, and games. I told my mom that I would try to do some work this summer to help out. I thought that I would mow lawns, help in people’s gardens, work at the local truck farm, things like that. If I could, I would work at the beach or one of the pools as life guard, yes I am young but I have all the qualifications to be certified except for my age. Just one problem, and a big one at that, there were no jobs.

With the economy in a downturn all the jobs were taken by people who had college degrees with bills to pay and no more unemployment insurance, they would work for any wage and had no problems with child labor laws. I could find no work. My dad was doing no better. He was an electrician, but with no building going on there was no need for construction electricians.

Well before this sad state of affairs got me down and I went to enjoy a summer of play my mother’s sister in-law Miranda Gutierrez came up with a way for my father and me to be employed at the Mr. Hefner’s resort. She and mom took off for a day and went to Chicago’s McCormick Place convention center where on the third floor east wing there was a product training class being presented on the new Huggle Bugs technology. Mom later told me that most of the attendees were costume providers for cosplay conventions.

That night she and auntie Miranda sat dad and myself down and told us to listen and not ask questions until they were done speaking. Before we started auntie Miranda made us some mock grasshopper drinks, well mine was mock, and dad’s drink might have been real. I just loved that minty ice cream smoothie. Strangely both dad and I seemed more relaxed. Mom stated that she would tell us when we could ask questions. Auntie Miranda than proceeded to spray mother with a tall can that looked kind of like an air freshener with a picture of a stylized bug on the label. Dad and I watched as mom shrank and her skin darkened to a mocha colored tan. Her hair darkened and grew to her waist and her face took on an Asian appearance. Soon she almost looked like a younger auntie Miranda perhaps a daughter. She was still in the clothing that mother had been wearing and which were now too loose. A picture is worth a thousand words and she just saved us a lot of questions. She simply stated that this is temporary and I will now look like this for three days, and as you see, it works.

Auntie Miranda, than handed each of us a brochure and a printed page. The printed page listed current job openings, the brochure and introduction to the opportunities and advantages of working for Mr. Hefner’s establishment in Lake Geneva and other locals in both the US and indeed around the world. Auntie Miranda explained to us that her best friend from her childhood, back before she married and moved to the US, had come to be employed by Mr. Hefner and now was a hutch mother at the local resort. She had these positions open and planed to place advertisements in the next week. However as Miranda was her dearest friend she and her friends would get an advance crack at these jobs.

Dad and I looked at the list, they need a life guard! Dad noted aloud that they needed bartenders and that he had been a bartender many a time over the years. It’s hard to call the girl that is waiting for us to finish, mother, however she took over from Auntie Miranda.

Look guys, they are not hiring men, nor children, the age is eighteen to twenty five, and they are looking for good looking girls. We just need some help to stay solvent and if both of you work Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, the income will tide us over. At the same time you dear can keep looking for employment more suited to your education and experience and you Mark can have time to have fun with your friends and work on that summer reading list. For three days a week you can look, and indeed be the persons that can fulfill those requirements, Miranda’s friend is willing to help us for the summer. First off, I want you to read “The Huggle Bugs Company” website.

Dad booted up the computer and brought up the URL listed on the can mom was holding, http://www.hugglebugs.net and shortly we were looking at both the testimonials and the Terms and conditions of service. Some of the testimonials brought up potential long lasting problems, real concerns yet if we followed the terms and conditions there should be no problem. Huggle Bugs is a body altering agent using nanites, which are microscopic machines that are networked, self-reproducing body modification tools which can either temporary or permanently change a person’s DNA. In the process of changing the DNA they change a person’s appearance, down to and including their bones.

Mom told us that she had already placed an order for temporary change kits for both me and dad and Auntie Miranda had finalized arrangements with her friend at the resort for our employment three nights a week, Friday thru Sunday, starting this Friday and continuing thru Labor Day weekend if we needed. To save on production expenses, we would look like the young girl that mom had just changed into, we would be twin eighteen year old Pilipino-Americans. Auntie Miranda said that we would be the same as her twin daughters, except we would be eighteen, not eleven.

Dad was upset, but before he could get a word in edgewise, mom pointed out that she wanted someone to watch out for me at work, after all I was still ten no mater what I looked like and since dad still hadn’t found a job, he could darn well do this while he was still looking for other employment. After all no one is interviewing on the weekends. If you don’t think you can do this for three months, weekends only, than you can go look for work elsewhere, the SEABEES are looking for construction electricians.

Did we have questions, yes but no, not yet, what does the work entail? Life guards are qualified in first aid, CPR, and rescue swimming. We would also be expected to participate in team water sports and sand court volleyball. Bartenders are masters of mixology and dad boosted that he could out showman the best of the best. If pressed, he could also be required to waitress both drinks and meals, that was a sobering thought but mom pointed out that tips are good and the rules detailing interactions between guests, fellow employee’s and “bunnies” would make this the safest environment to be, in effect cross-dressed as it were, therefore case closed.

We all had a look at the recruitment brochure,


STEP INTO THE SPOTLIGHT!
An exciting new life awaits you as a Playboy Club Bunny…You’ll never be bored by routine … You’ll earn far more than other girls … You’ll have the opportunity to travel … You’ll meet internationally famous people in show business, sports, politics, industry and finance in the glamorous and exciting atmosphere of luxurious Playboy Clubs.
The Playboy Clubs are handsomely appointed night clubs inspired by the pages of PLAYBOY magazine and specially designed to suggest the fun and excitement of a cocktail party, complete with fine food, drink and entertainment. The Bunnies, in their brightly colored costumes, with rabbit ears and white cottontails, add beauty and glamour to these surroundings.
The Playboy Clubs are open to key holders and their guests from 11:30 am to the wee small hours. Smooth background music enhances the luncheon and cocktail hours, while five combos and star-studded talent rosters add sparkle to the evening with a program and continuous entertainment. The Playboy Clubs dominate the night life of the cities in which they are located.
When you become a Bunny, your world will be fun-filled, pleasant, and always exciting while you enjoy a new measure of financial independence.

WHO MAY BE A BUNNY?
Like yourself, Bunnies have been modes, college coeds, actresses, dancers, stewardesses, teachers or secretaries. Don’t be surprised to find you share many interests with the other Bunnies, for you are with girls who, like yourself, possess excellent character striking good looks, charm, intelligence and friendly personalities. Bunnies have no standard height and weight requirements, but a bunny must be properly proportioned.

WHAT DOES A BUNNY DO?
As a Bunny, you are a gracious hostess, seeing to the wishes of the guests in your Club. You might be one of the Bunnies who welcomes key holders and guests at the entrance, or you might serve them at their tables, see to cigarette purchases, snap souvenir photos or suggest gift items from the Playboy Gift Shop. Many Bunnies develop routines and perform with entertainers appearing at the Club.

WHAT DOES A BUNNY WEAR?
The Bunny costume consists of a smart satin suit (custom designed for you alone), rabbit ears, cottontail, cuffs with Playboy cuff links, collar with bow tie, name medallion, heels and hose. Your bunny costumes and accessories are furnished to you by the Playboy Club, with the exception of the dyed to match shoes, which you purchase, and the special hose which are provided for you at cost.
A wardrobe mistress is on duty to attend to your costume repairs and alterations. She also sees that Bunny costumes and accessories are cleaned and laundered on a regular basis.

WHAT ARE A BUNNY’S HOURS?
A Bunny usually works an eight-hour day, five days a week> Each Club opens daily for luncheon at 11:30 am., and closing times vary with local rules. All Playboy Clubs are closed on Christmas and Easter.
Leaves of absence may be arranged by giving advance notice to the Club office.

HOW MUCH DOES A BUNNY EARN?
As a Bunny, you have met the Playboy Club’s high standards and qualifications and your earnings are equally high. … Many Bunnies earn additional income modeling in their spare time. If you wish to do so, you may register with Playboy Models, Inc, which will be happy to act as your agent, or with any other reputable model agency.
No wonder then that you are financially independent. You live in comfort, patronize exclusive shops and travel in style.

WHAT IS THE BUNNY’S ROLE IN THE COMMUNITY?
The Bunnies engage in many communality activities and charitable works. Each Bunny contributes $1 per week to the Bunnies’ charity fund, and the company matches the contribution. The Bunnies decide which cause will benefit from the fund.
Bunnies have become known through modeling for Club promotion. They have appeared in articles about the Club in such national magazines as Holiday, Life, Look, Newsweek, Pageant. The Saturday Evening Post and Time and in foreign publications such as England’s Queen, France’s Paris-Match, Germany’s Der Spiegel, Der Stern, Er and Elegant, Welt, Latin America’s Vision and Sweden’s Se og Her. Advertising agencies frequently hire Bunnies for TV commercials and national advertising as a result of their being showcased at the Playboy Club.
The status and appeal attached to being a Playboy Club Bunny have attracted members for all over the United States and from Colombia, Denmark, Ecuador, France, Germany, Greece, Ireland, Italy, Lithuania, Puerto Rico, Sweden and almost every other country, truly giving the Bunny Corps and international flavor.

WHAT EXPERIENCE MUST A BUNNY HAVE?
The Playboy Club schools you in your duties so you do not need any special experience before you begin. You will be a Bunny in the Club of your choice after a one-week training period.
You will be instructed in Playboy Club service and in the selection of fine wines and liquors. You will also receive valuable information in the psychology of customer service and public relations.
A Bunny Mother is stationed in every Club to counsel Bunnies on hair styling, make-up, and the fine points of poise and charm. She will recommend proper make-up specialists, if necessary. A beauty salon is located on Club premises in many cities.

DO BUNNIES HAVE A CHANCE TO TRAVEL?
Bunnies may work at any presently operating or soon-to-be open Playboy Club in Atlanta, Baltimore, Chicago, Cincinnati, Detroit, Kansas City, Los Angeles, Miami, New Orleans, New York, Phoenix, St. Louis, San Francisco, Washington DC, Jamaica, Ocho Rios and other major cities here and abroad.
A Bunny, if she likes to travel, may request a transfer to another Club, or she may prefer to remain in one city. Transfer approvals depend upon the past performance of a Bunny, as well as the openings available and the current situation in her own Club.
If a Bunny presently lives in the same city in which she chooses to work, we prefer that she continue to live at home. If she travels to another city, we will assist her in finding comfortable lodgings. We will also, if she desires, help her in finding a Bunny roommate. Many Bunnies share apartments, spend leisure hours together, shopping, sight-seeing and vacationing.

HOW MAY I OBTAIN A BUNNY INTERVIEW?
If the exciting life of a Bunny leads interests you, you may be interviewed by the Bunny Mother in any Playboy Club or at International Headquarters in Chicago.

USE THIS CHECKLIST TO SEE IF YOU MEASURE UP TO BUNNY STANDARDS
Must be 18 through 25 years of age at the time employed by the Playboy Club. (Girls under 21 may, of course work only in states where legally permitted to do so.
May be single, married, divorced or separated with or without dependents.
Must Possess:
Charming personality
Cheerful disposition
Attractive appearance and posture
Intelligence and common sense
Good references
Pleasant speaking voice

The brochure came with a form letter inviting us to apply,

Dear Bunny Applicant:
We are delighted to hear of your interest in becoming one of the internationally famous PLAYBOY Club Bunnies. PLAYBOY Clubs are expanding quite rapidly, and we are always interested in adding attractive young ladies to staff the new Clubs and fill openings that occur in Clubs that are presently in operation. I am enclosing our brochure, “BE A PLAYBOY CLUB BUNNY, which will answer many of your questions. Please contact the Bunny Mother in the PLAYBOY Club nearest you for more detailed information and arrange for a personal interview. She will require the enclosed application form, along with two pictures of yourself: one full- length in either a swimsuit or leotard and one close-up of your face. Studio photographs are not necessary: snapshots or Polaroid pictures will be sufficient.
I will notify the Bunny Mother of your interest, and she will anticipate the pleasure of receiving your completed application form and pictures. Arrangements may than be made to present yourself for a personal interview with our Bunny Mother. She will be happy to see you and any of your friends that would also like to apply.
In the meantime, if you have any further questions, please do not hesitate to contact her by phone or letter.

Success and happiness, Your International Bunny Director

Auntie Miranda told us that the Huggle Bugs formula we would be using would change us for three days only and we would need four days to safely recover before we could again change, thus the three day weekend work week. There are different formulas that would allow us to stay female up to ten days but we would still need the four day recovery period which would be hard to schedule for work, still the bunny mother and auntie Miranda are good friends. Those formulas are a higher quality product and of course a greater expense. By both of us using the same body type we were keeping costs down, and twins were always in demand for club work. We would also be keeping costs down by using an existing DNA template, in this case her daughters.

Auntie Miranda told us to strip and we did, all the way, and then we just stood there. Mom had one can, and auntie Miranda had another can. Mom started to spray dad, and auntie Miranda sprayed her can over me, even inside my mouth.
I could see dad shrinking and a great deal of moisture misting from his open mouth, me I seemed to stay the same height but my body felt like it was in one of those massage chairs at McCarrin International Airport. As we waited for the changes to stop I listened to what mom was telling dad, dad is not a really good name for the girl I see now. She was telling her that get serious about finding a job or may be necessary for him to became this girl full time as she could buy a version that would work for ever.

Dad and I were than given each a stack of clothing and told to dress, mom went with dad to help her and auntie Miranda helped me. We were told that we would be doing all the work including make up, as we had to learn it. Dad was starting to get the shakes and mom offered him some more of auntie Miranda’s grasshopper drinks.

After our makeup lesson and getting dressed in swimsuits we went over to the neighboring hotel and posed by the swimming pool. For a half an hour mom played fashion photographer. For several shots she obtained volunteers from both boys and men to pose with us as if we were involved in ways that some of the magazines behind the grocery store counter had models posed. That is the first time anyone other my mom or dad had kissed me, and what a strange way of kissing. I don’t know what else was happening at the time but while the boys and men were kissing me I keep getting poked by someone’s stick or something. I couldn’t tell who was doing it as no one had anything in their hands when I looked.

It was starting to get dark and our photo session came to an end. Mom asked me if I had a girl’s name that I liked, I thought about it, I then told her that I liked the name Melinda and so I became Melinda Lynn when I am a girl and dad is now Cynthia Lynn. Auntie Miranda e-mailed the name and birth day information to the Huggle Bugs office, attn: Pickles, who is their corporate legal officer.

Next all four of us dressed in matching short black dresses, which mom told Cindy were called an LBD. We were taught how to apply and adjust our bras and slipped into lace front panties, after which we applied dark toned panty hose, we were given black sling backs with two inch heels. Finally a barrette over each ear, a small white gold watch, and a cross on a white gold chain, completed our dressing. We rode with Auntie Miranda to Fort Atkinson to the Fireside Theater where High School Musical on Stage was preformed as we had our supper. The waitress that served us just kept on saying how Auntie Miranda had such a beautiful family and would you believe, triplets?

The next two days were spent shopping, and girl lessons. Auntie Miranda had made a whole lot of those grasshopper drinks and we sure enjoyed them that weekend. Because mom was the same as the two of us, she would get right in with us and after trying out a item she would just put it in our cart if she thought it was a keeper. With all three of us trying the clothing out for correct sizing shopping went thrice as fast.

Sunday night we went to bed as Sandy (mom), Linda and Cindy and Monday we awoke as ourselves. For about a half a day it just felt wrong not being Linda. My friends asked me where I had been on the weekend and I told them that my mom was helping me job hunt.

Friday morning, at oh what an ungodly hour, mom and auntie Miranda woke us up and this time instead of spraying us they wore latex gloves and wiped us down with something that looks like wet-wipes super sized. Mom said that this was safer as with a spray all four of us might become quintuples. After dressing, and makeup, the four of us went to a morning buffet for breakfast. After breakfast, to the club we went. Mom had resumes ready for both of us and gave us our legal documents. It was time to meet the hutch mother and be interviewed for the positions we hoped to fill.

For dad she had a side room with a bar reserved and about twenty volunteers. It was time to show off his mixologist abilities. As for me I needed to demonstrate that those qualifications of mine were real, I had more than enough willing volunteers pool side, specially for CPR.

Work for the next three months was much the same day to day, my skin got darker and I learned how to reject verbal advances, anything more than verbal I could trust security to keep the key holders and their guests in line. I spent Monday thru Thursday enjoying my summer, we had no vacation trip this year, but dad and I spent more time together than we had at any time before. As for the evenings, it was time to study, dad would check out self help books in many of my grade school topics, both past and expected and we worked to find out where I had problems and then he taught me the best way he knew to understand it. Friday thru Sunday, we donned our uniforms and went to work. Dad really did try to find work, and finally admitted to mom that the idea of the SEABEES did not seem such a bad idea after all, so we made arrangements to move to the Great Lakes / Lake Bluff area of Illinois in the fall. Dad started making arrangements with the recruiter, with an anticipated goal of becoming an OSVET in September.

Our family plans went bottom up the weekend of August 14th thru the 17th. In these, my last two weekends of employment, we planed our move to Illinois for the four day labor day weekend, I had a problem at the club pool. One of the pool cleaning crew had been bothering me over the last few weeks. A man named Elijah, he looked like he had dropped out, not just school but of life also. Prior to this he had seemed satisfied to tell me to meet him at some bar or another and hear me reply of “in our dreams looser”. Last week he grabbed my arm and told me that I would not talk to him like that soon.

This weekend, Cindy and I felt different, kind of yearning, frisky, kind of sexy? Mom said “be careful it will soon be your time of the month”. She warned us to bring extra clothing in our work bags and showed us how to use items she called pads. Dad seemed to know what she was talking about. Mom told me to see Cindy if I started bleeding from an unusual place, she did not wish to go over why unless it happened and that was that.
Saturday I had a word with the hutch mother, the pool boy has been fooling around with my drinks now, I don’t want to upend a can and find out that someone is using it as a spittoon, and I don’t wish to find myself listing to the colors of the wind if I need to help some one either. She called security to bring Elijah to the head of personnel and she and I headed over to see her also. At personnel, I retold of my encounters both this weekend and last and then she asked me to step outside. As I exited a security officer entered with Elijah. He looked startled to see me, than he grinned and asked if I wanted it again chica?

On Sunday, August sixteenth, well really Monday, we got home from work about two am. Overnight, the hugglebugs nanites died off. In the morning I went to take my bath now that my body had changed back to Mark. As I finished up and started to dry myself off I heard mom and Cindy crying, I ran to their room and they were sitting on their bed holding each other, crying on each other’s shoulders. The phone sat on mom’s lap and a can of emergency restorative lay on the floor beneath the now broken full length mirror on the back of the closet door.

Auntie Miranda arrived shortly after with a blue and white box with the letters EPT on it. The three of them disappeared into mom and dad’s bathroom. I soon heard auntie Miranda say “she’s pregnant all right”. I also heard what sounded like a hard slap, followed by dad crying harder.

Dad could not give mother an explanation, she keep telling mother that she only liked girls. Mom said enough of this, let go down and calm down, once we were seated in the living room, auntie Miranda passed out those relaxing grasshopper drinks.

Security called that morning, Cindy had to talk to them for me, I was asked if I could come down to the office to talk about Elijah. Cindy said she would be right down but she would have her mother and aunt with her. She then proceeded to dress as if she had been I. As a ten year old I would not be allowed in the club after it was open, so I had to stay home. I went over with Cindy all that I had noticed about Elijah, and went in depth what else I had done the last two weekends.

Cindy later passed on to me some of what security had to say. Elijah had indeed put something in my drink, first when I was in my swimsuit and later when He saw me by the pool side bar, in my dress. But, I said to Cindy, I didn’t dress nor go near the bar! Cindy told me that on Saturday she had worked the pool side bar. Elijah boasted to the security head that “I” had been nice to him, and he would be happy to do it again, maybe he would let me be myself next time. The security head was appalled at what was implied and that as far as Elijah was concerned, what he did was acceptable, and not uncommon in his homeland, after all that is what women are for.

Club management came to an arrangement with mom and Cindy. They told me that they are not able to talk about it. As for dad, according to mom’s doctor, she is expecting on May ninth, mother’s day, 2010.

Bibliography/Webography:

I was encouraged to write a story involving gender change by the story written last year by Elizabeth Consuelo Delgado Gutierrez at: http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/fiction/5859/my-report-how-i-spent-my-summ...

This story is written to conform with the rules the Hugglebugs Fiction Universe: http://web.archive.org/web/20020414144932/www.hugglebugs.net/stories.htm

Information about the Playboy club employment has came from the following:
http://www.explayboybunnies.com/history/bunnymanual/bunnymanual1.html

List of Characters:
Student: Mark Edward Kwiakowski AKA: Melinda Lynn (Linda or Lyn-Lyn)
Father: Edward Mark Kwiakowski AKA: Cynthia Lynn (Cindy)
Mother: Sandra May Brott Kwiakowski (Sandy)
Aunt: Miranda Gutierrez (Auntie)