Oni the Lonely-1

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Chapter 1
 
 
I wake up between the flashbacks and the rain.
 
I just lay there face down on the blankets on the floor hair in my face and staring at the empty spots where Lace had taken her things and left. Like figurative spots where she slashed me up inside.
 
I’m on the floor because I can’t just can’t sleep in our bed, we made love there and I thought we were happy.
 
Oh yeah, right I really don’t get to be happy.
 
Lace is gone.
 
Just left me a letter.
 
One of those Dear John kind of things, it’s not you it’s me…
 
Yeah fucking right it was you…I thought I was happy, I though we were happy. I though you might have been willing to…it’s not even worth ranting about it.
 
It’s pretty obvious that I’m really not worth it.
 
I move the blankets back over my head and shut out the universe. Or as long as I can before nature calls.
 
Still it’s dark when I wake back up. And the bathroom lights hurt and that’s when it hits, the anger about it.
 
About how it’s happened again.
 
It starts with the stuff in the bathroom that she left, or reminds me of her then there’s a surge of my energies and the stereo turn on blasting angry tunes out of it and I guess it’s a good thing I own the place and live in a bad neighborhood. I’m not quiet about clearing out my place and throwing stuff out, even the bed…the whole bed…
 
I sit and drink my home brewed saki in regular beer bottles and watch the dumpster burn even the sheets we bought together, clothes…I’m no where near as strong as people seem to think, but then again…people think I’m a fuck up.
 
I get pretty drunk.
 
But not drunk enough that it stops hurting.
 
I headed back inside around 4 AM and drift my cellphone into the fireplace followed by the landline when I rip it out of the wall.
 
I crash on the floor again in my pretty sparse loft curled into the corner. Yeah, this is better, this is me.