New Meaning : Sugar And Spice -14- Tension

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New Meaning: Sugar and Spice

Part Fourteen ~ Tension

By Ariel Montine

How much will Betty reveal while Kimmie tells Teri about herself?

New Meaning: Sugar and Spice

Part Fourteen ~ Tension


By Ariel Montine

We had gathered in the living room. Momma in her comfortable recliner faced the three of us, Jenny and I on either side of Kimmie with both of us holding one of her hands. Kimmie seemed calm and contented just being able to be her real self openly for the first time in her life.

"Teri, in my earliest memories, I’ve always been a girl. I’d see other girls and wonder why I wasn’t treated the same way. Eventually, I grew out of my acting like a girl being cute and my parents would show they were frustrated with me. They told me that I was a boy and that I had to act like a boy. I learned to hide it from them and do a good enough job acting like a boy that they were not as frustrated with me. I’ve been afraid to bring it up again. I’ve heard stories of parents that would disown a child over being different like me. Once I tell them, I can’t un-tell them. I haven’t had another adult that would be taken seriously to feel this out for me. I kinda hope that they would see that this is different than just play and want to help me."

"Kimmie, why do you call yourself a transgirl?"

"This is more than just a game to me, Teri. I don’t dress as a girl to have fun or fool people. I dress as a girl because that is who I really am inside. I’m happy about wearing a dress but that is just because it has been denied to me for so long. What I really want is to live every day as a girl and eventually for this to be common place and ordinary."

"Kimmie, how do you know that you are really a girl?"

"I just know, just like I know my name and everything else about myself. I didn’t decide it one day. It just always was. In the beginning, I thought I was the only one. Then I hacked my way past the child blocks and discovered real information from doctors about this. I discovered that there are a whole spectrum of people who have different issues with Gender Identity. I learned that as a whole we are all called Transgendered and there are many colors within us and among them are the transgirls and transboys, crossdressers and intersexed. From reading the accounts of doctors, I found that I most closely identify with the transgirls."

"That’s a lot for a girl your age to be carrying along with her, much less all the time since you were a toddler. I’m glad that you felt comfortable enough to be able to share this with me. I believe that I can help."

"Thank you, Teri. Both Betty and Jenny have been wonderful. With my background, you can understand how I saw thru Betty’s cover story. I know that she was Tony. When I discovered how she was going to be a girl for the summer, I felt comfortable for the first time to open up and show my true self to her."

"Momma, I’m afraid that I haven’t been truthful about something. Up to now, Kimmie has been reluctant to get an adult to help her. I thought that if I told you that I was a transgirl that you would help me and I could take what I learned to help Kimmie. I’m so sorry that I deceived you."

"Do you understand now, Betty why it was wrong to deci eve me? Doing the wrong thing for the right reason, always has consequences. "

"I know, Momma and I am so sorry. I thought that I was pretty smart since Kimme said that nothing permanent can be done for a girl till she is an adult. I didn’t think about the other things that you might be able to do that would make it difficult for me to return to being Tony. Momma, if I ask you anything, would you be honest with me?"

"Of course sweetheart. If I don’t think that you are ready to hear the answer, I’ll tell you that we ought to wait. I make mistakes myself but I will do my best to be honest with you."

"Momma, am I intersexed?"

"What do you mean by intersexed, Betty? Are you asking that because you’ve always been a boy and now you are a girl?"

"Intersexed means to me, having both girl parts and boy parts. Is my wound, not a wound and really my girl parts?"

"Betty, I guess since you are able to ask that question that you are ready to hear the answer. Yes, you are intersexed and what I called your wound is your girl parts. I am sorry for deceiving you about this. For a time, you simply could not have understood but that time has long past. I thought that I was protecting you and I was looking for a sign that you desired a girl’s life but the longer that things went on, the more difficult and the more consequences there was for deceiving you. In the end, Dr Moss told me that we were running out of time and that you would have to make a choice. How could you know who you wanted to be for the rest of your life if you had not experienced what it is like to be a girl? We used the situation that occurred with the girl scouts to let you be a girl for the summer. It was all our idea and we just got Jenny to ask you about it. We could have brought another girl in for the summer to handle it. We still can if you don’t want to be a girl for the summer without any cost to the troop. Once the WNBA game comes then we are locked into it though for the troop to get the benefits from the sales at the game. What do you want to do, Betty? Do you want to go back to being Tony?"

"I want to be Betty for the summer. If I am to have to make a choice, I want to have the chance that you have given me to be a normal girl. I’m glad to help Jenny and the Girl Scout Troop out even if it wasn’t something only I could do really. I also want to know the truth about my bottom."

"Dr Moss can remove the appliance and let you see with mirrors exactly how you look and explain to you your options for putting things right depending on what choice that you make. We’ve put this off for as long as we can, Puberty can make all kinds of bad thing happen since you have 2 different systems competing to shape your body into an adult. There is also the possibility of cancer and a host of other medical problems just because you are intersexed. By acting at the end of the summer, we hope to avoid some of those problems. There is no way to avoid all of those problems even if you had a choice made for you at birth. Simply being intersex means that you’ll always have some medical problems."

"Momma, what do we do about Betty now?"

"For now since Betty wants to go thru with living as a girl for the summer, we just follow thru with that plan. In the mean time even though Betty isn’t really a transgirl, since she is intersexed, she will be facing a lot of the same challenges. I feel like she should keep her appointment with Dr Johansen so she have help dealing with the issues that she now has discovered. In addition, Dr Moss will be following her medical condition closely and being open with Betty about it. Is that okay with you, Betty?"

"Yes, Momma. I’d like that very much. What can we do for Kimmie?"

"For one thing, Kimmie can attend the sessions with Dr Johansen that you go to, even if she has to go to them as Joshua. Perhaps once there, Dr Johansen might have a place for Kimmie to change. I’ll feel out Kimmie’s parents on the subject. Perhaps with Dr Johansen’s help we can set up a way for Kimmie to tell her parents with Dr Johansen and I being present . Kimmie, you obviously know about the limitations for a child in your situation but there are some things that can be done now if we can get your parents on your side and willing to help. As much as I’d like to take you out and let you experience life as a girl, you really need to tell your parents before you do that."

"Thank you, Teri."

Kimmie got up and gave Momma a big hug which she returned. Both Jenny and I got up and turned it into a group hug which was so satisfying that it was difficult to release but eventually we did anyway.

"Kimmie, what made you want to reveal this to me, now? I would have thought that you might have waited to find out what help you could have had from Dr Johansen and get her help in telling me too."

‘Teri, I knew that you would be cool with it but I really did not feel comfortable rocking the boat with my parents. You were so good with helping Betty deal with the consequences of her choosing to be a girl to help her sister. I couldn’t see how it could hurt Betty to come out as a transgirl since not much can be done permanently till she becomes an adult. When Betty realized she was intersexed, I knew the same standards would not apply. I guessed that since Betty was approaching puberty that her decision could be carried out much quicker. She needs to be able to make a real choice and not have that made already because she was helping me. When I told you about me, then Betty could tell you that she had not made a choice yet. I know how much pain that I was in being trapped trying to live like a boy and I did not want Betty to feel that pain if she really is Tony. Hopefully by getting it out in the open both Betty and I can be helped."

"You two are such good friends to each other by being willing to help each other like that. In order to deal with issues like this, it’s very important to tell the truth to each other."

I was proud of both Kimmie and Momma for opening up like that. I was glad that even though Jenny still had to keep both of our secrets, she would no longer have to deci eve Momma. Even though I didn’t know what Kimmie would do to solve her challenge or what I would do to solve, my challenge, I knew enough to be confident that we would both get the help that we needed to meet our challenges.

I just knew that my face was showing all the thinking that I was doing. Now would be the best time to do what Lady Alicia suggested and let Momma know that I had been eavesdropping. With everything else looking up even though it had not yet been solved, my main worry was Carl, I could not think of him as my Daddy with all he had done that I now knew about, and what he would do with the information that I was trying out the choice that Momma had saved for me by not taking away my girl parts when I was a baby.

Momma didn’t question how I knew that I was intersexed, so I didn’t have to reveal that when I asked about it. I guess that I could have at some point gotten a mirror and took off the bandage and peeked at it but I hadn’t. With the addition of the appliance, I knew for sure what girl parts were since I had been able to see them thru a mirror clearly. I could have compared the two and realized that I had girl and boy parts. With Kimmie as a source and confidant, knowing that meant I was intersexed would be easy.

If I told on myself, then I would have more to go on than just what I had overheard. I felt really powerless and at a loss on what to do about the message that would eventually get to Carl. With what he had done to Momma, before, I had no way of knowing what Carl might do to both of us. Right now Momma had excluded me for my own good from what they were doing but even if I could not help, I wanted to know what they had come up with so I wouldn’t be as afraid.

"Betty, Sweetheart, what has gotten your face all twisted up with worry? I felt that you trusted me with both your and Kimmie’s challenges now. What’s wrong?"

Now or never! Should I tell her? And if I don’t tell her the truth, how can I explain the worry she saw on my face?

All of a sudden, a peace fell over me that I could see reflected in both Jenny’s and Kimmie’s reactions to me was showing on my face as well.

"Momma, It’s like this..."

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Mom's hypocrisy

If Mom does not specifically apologize for lying and being dishonest, I think she is just a hypocrite and her kids might decide they can lie to her. Mom says: > "I am sorry for deceiving you about this." < Deceiving is a weasel word. What did Mom do? Trick Betty/Tony? Cause an illusion? No, She lied to er.

Twice she tells the kids to be truthful. The first time she says: > "Do you understand now, Betty why it was wrong to deceive me? Doing the wrong thing for the right reason, always has consequences. " < I did not hear Mom admit that she was guilty of the same thing.

Sorry, I'm just not into hypocrisy from the supposedly wonderful, all commanding, self-righteous parent figure. Yeah, so I've got issues. So what? ;-)


Renee M

Do as I say, not as I do

Hi Renee,
Do as I say and not as I do is a time honored tradition in parenting. Of course Mom is a hypocrite in this case. It is yet to find out wheather there are any redeaming features to it or extenuating circumstances.

So what decision do you feel like Betty has come to and having peace about? Has she decided that since it was okay for Momma to hide what she did then she can hide her hearing that conversation. Perhaps she has decided to tell Momma what she overheard and take the moral high ground.

It may take a bit of maturity to do the right thing even when her momma got away with doing the wrong thing.

Is Momma pleading guilty to what she thinks is a lesser crime in lieing to Betty in order to cover up a greater crime in forcing Betty to be female? Is this just the start of the manipulations or is it really all innocent? What was it that Betty missed overhearing?

Is Momma a good character or an evil one? Is it possible that even good characters do evil sometimes?

Thanks for coming along on the journey and I will try to make the rest interesting,

All my hopes,
Ariel Montine

All my hopes,
Ariel Montine

The Truth Will Out

Now that the truth is known, will Momma be truthful with Betty, or lie as she has been?


May Your Light Forever Shine


May Your Light Forever Shine

The High Road

Will Teri take the high road or continue to just wait till she's found out before she reveals anything. Hopefully in this part both Betty and us looking in thru her eyes will have a greater understanding of not only what Teri did but why she did it. Teri isn't perfect but is any of us. You'll have to decide for yourself if Teri had any evil intent or if she is still covering things up.

Thanks for coming on the journey with us and I would like to make the rest interesting.

All my hopes,
Ariel Montine

All my hopes,
Ariel Montine

So finally

Momma has told Betty what she already knew ,But now Betty has more problems to cope with, Not least of all Kimmie, Imagine what Kimmie must feel now that she knows about Betty's little? problem, Although she has not said much,You can only guess at what she must feel!!!


Betty has some challenges

Hi Kirri,
As luck will have it, we do hear a little more from Kimmie in the next part 15 - Interruption. Well you can guess what happened or you can read it since I just posted it. Still a lot of talk and not much action but things that needed to be said.

Thanks for coming on the journey with us and I would like to make the rest interesting.

All my hopes,
Ariel Montine

All my hopes,
Ariel Montine