New Meaning : Sugar And Spice -15- Interruption

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New Meaning: Sugar and Spice

Part Fifteen ~ Interruption

By Ariel Montine


What was it that Betty wanted to say?




New Meaning: Sugar and Spice

Part Fifteen ~ Interruption

betty

By Ariel Montine

 I had made a decision and I had started telling Momma that it was like this and that’s as far as I went. I had noticed Kimmie squirming a bit but It wasn’t till she interrupted me that I realized that she had other things on her mind.

“I love you too, Betty! I know it’s not common for two girls to love each other but what I feel for you is real no matter whether you turn out to be a boy or a girl. If you turn out to be a girl, I guess that Paris will lose interest in you since she seems exclusively into boys,but the fact that you would be transitioning too even though it will be different can bring us together even closer. If you turn out to be a boy and you and Paris get together, I would be heart broken but I always want your happiness even if it isn’t with me. I just want you free to make the decision about your gender without making our relationship depend on it. I know how important a choice that is and I want you to be free to make the best choice for you first.”

“Kimmie, thank you for telling me all of that. I wasn’t going to bring up our love now but I’m glad it came up. Before I thought about myself as Tony masquerading as Betty and it was interesting that both of us were not what we seemed but that was gone soon.  I have come to think of my life as Betty as very real. I’m not sure what that means but I’m looking forward to finding out. Whatever form our relationship takes whether that be romantic or like siblings or close friends, I am sure that I will want you in my life some way.”.    

“Are you sure what kind of love that you feel, Kimmie?”

Momma seemed to know just the right thing to ask to clarify the situation and she had in this case come to the heart of the matter.

“This feeling is so strong but I don’t know what it means exactly? I feel like it is romantic love but I guess it could also be familial or friendship love too, just like Betty has said it could be. I know one thing for sure, that if when the summer is over that Tony returns, that Paris will have some competition while we work out just what our relation is going to be.”

“I would expect no less from you, Kimmie. You’ve always been the kind of person that I was glad to have my child associate with and even more so as I see you blooming and coming into your own. We can’t control what happens with matters of the heart, but you two would be a good match if that is what the fates have for you no matter if it is with either Tony or Betty.”

“Thank you, Teri. If Betty had not figured out that she was intersexed on her own, when were you planning on telling her? She’s a very bright girl, so she could have understood when she was old enough to go to Kindergarten. I can understand your wish for her to have a normal childhood but it was anything but normal anyway. I’m really sorry for thinking this but the way that you did it reminds me of some of the evil parents in some of the stories about children who confront challenges like Betty and I have who decide to force them into a decision that they would not ordinarily make.”

“Kimmie, my mother is not evil! She made it easy for Tony to choose to become Betty but she never forced her to do anything!”

“I’m sorry for upsetting you, Jenny. It’s just that what your mother has said so far, does not explain why she did what she did. I know that she isn’t an evil person. What could be so bad that you can’t tell the ones that you love.”

“There is more to the story, Kimmie. I guess that by leaving those doubts about what I did could be more harmful than letting my children know about what happened. However, since they don’t know what is coming, my children really can’t say whether or not they want you to hear it Kimmie. If you wouldn’t mind excusing us for a while, I’d like to tell them privately.”

“It’s okay, Kimmie. Jenny, may Kimmie play in your room with your things? I’m sure it would be a real treat for her to do so since she’s never had a chance to play like a little girl for real.”

“Kimmie, you can play with anything in my room. I’m not mad at you for the question you asked really. I know that you were just trying to be a good friend.”

Kimmie and Jenny had a big hug and then I hugged her too.

“Since it is okay with Jenny, Kimmie, you may play in her room till we get thru. I’ll send someone up to get you when we get finished.”

“Thank you, Teri!”

Kimmie actually skipped up the stairs with a light heart as we watched her disappear out of vision and hearing.

“I’m sorry again that it took a question to prompt me to reveal this to you both. It’s the last thing that I was protecting you from and I was wrong to keep it from you two for so long. I want you both to promise me that if you have a hard time handling this that you will tell me and I’ll get you some help to deal with it. This concerns a great evil that came upon our family so I am counting on you to be brave as I tell you. I would never let anything happen to you, I love you both!”

“We love you too Mommie!”

“We’ll be brave!”

I kinda thought that I knew what was coming next which was what I overheard. I hoped she was going to share it .

“This goes back to the time when Betty was born. Betty’s birth father, Carl, and I were alarmed when after the umbilical cord was cut when I delivered you, and instead of putting you into my arms they rushed you off for some tests. I was glad that Dr Moss is an OB/ Gyn now but then she was just a gynecologist. My obstetrician, Dr Russell handled the delivery. Dr Russell was of the opinion that once she found that Betty was intersexed that what had to happen was that a decision should be made immediately. Carl was extremely phobic that if anyone found out that a child of his was imperfect that everyone would laugh and shame him. On the other hand, Dr Moss had done her thesis on intersexed children and had found out that doctors had a poor track record on picking the right gender to remain in a formerly bi gendered child. She was convinced that the best course of action was to rear the child as normally as possible as intersexed until they had made a choice for themselves what they wished to do. The only controlling thing was that as an intersexed child approached puberty that a choice needed to be made to avoid some of the complications of being intersexed like cancer even though some consequences would remain no matter what was done when.”

“So Dr Moss told you both to wait to let me choose before surgery and Dr Russell wanted to rush me into surgery. What did he want to make me?”

“He wanted to turn you into a boy. It seemed like if there was any chance that the boy parts would work they chose boy going back to very old thinking that boys were more valuable than girls which is nonsense.”

“I know you left both, but is that why you chose to rear me as a boy first?”

“It’s a bit more complicated than that Betty, There is more to the story than you know yet but I promise to answer it once I tell you enough to understand the answer.”

“Thank you, Momma. I can be patient to hear the answer till I understand.”

I wondered if she did it partially because it was easier to cover up my girl parts and also because she feared Carl breaking out of prison and tripping out over his ‘son’ being raised as a girl, just like we were scared of now that he was going to find out that I was living as a girl now.                                                          
“Thank you, Betty. Fortunately, I went with Dr Moss’s advice to not use surgery and since She backed me up against Carl so that Dr Russell could not operate on you because unanimous consent and opinion of all the attending physicians had to be in cases that were not life threatening, Carl’s attempt to make you into his ‘son’ failed. I thought that Carl had accepted my decision for you because after he was thwarted, he seemed to turn into a model father, doting on both you and I. I only wished that I could have seen thru him because I would have never brought you home with him being present there. Carl seemed to accept you so much that I didn’t see the need to make any choice to rear you as a boy or a girl yet. I hoped that we could take a few days to let things get back to normal before we tackled that. We lived in a nice apartment complex then. Dr Moss had the apartment on one side of us and Carl’s friend, Jim Hastings lived on the other side of us. I knew Dr Moss was home and knew that we would be arriving home that day but I assumed that Jim was out of town since he had not visited at all while I was in the hospital. ”

“What happened when the three of you arrived home, Momma?”

“Jenny, things started off normal enough. I was able to get our little child down in her crib and she lay sleeping. When I came out Carl was all wild eyed and started screaming at me that he was the head of our household and how dare I oppose his wishes for his son. I still did not realize what Carl was capable of. He was showing a side of himself that I had never seen before. Before I could turn to back to get my baby and get out, Carl had stunned me with a fist to my temple. I screamed and tried to get away but as things came crashing down around me, Carl had me pinned and helpless and continued to beat me. Betty started crying for all the noise and I feared that Carl would go after her so I stopped trying to get away and instead tried to keep Carl’s attention beating me. It worked for long enough. I found out later that Dr Moss called 911 and had filled in Jim, who Carl had kept in the dark concerning Betty,  Jim kicked in the door and went after Carl to save me while Dr Moss went back to the nursery in order to get Betty to safety. When Carl had been subdued both the Police and EMS arrived. Betty ended up with Dr Moss’s husband and both Dr Moss and Jim stayed with me as I was transported to the hospital.”

“My goodness, Mother! I can’t believe that Carl was such a monster that he did that to you. I love you for protecting me, Momma!”

“I love you too, Mommie!”

The three of us shared a great big group hug. we all cried together for what Momma had gone thru. It really helped to share that moment with my Momma and Sister. In spite of the deception, I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that Momma loved me! Finally the tears were dried and we broke the hug. I still had questions so I started us back on the story with one.

“Momma,How bad were you hurt?”

“Dr Moss says that I should have died from my injuries but somehow I held on. I love you so much, Betty and I could not leave you with even the remotest possibility that Carl would get you if I died. As it was it took both Dr Moss and Jim to nurse me back to health. Dr Moss found this wonderful lawyer that helped with the personal legal things that I needed and the DA was wonderful when Carl was prosecuted for attempted murder and assault. Carl got sent to prison for so long that I felt that we were safe. I did not realize that our state in order to save money housing prisoners would put in a crazy rule saying that for every year of good time that 2 years would be cut from his sentence. That meant that he would only have to serve nine years. Anyway, I divorced Carl and exchanged him not having to pay child support for him giving up all rights to you which the court was inclined to accept due to Carl’s criminal record. Everything that I didn’t get in the divorce, I went after when I sued him civilly for my injuries that he caused. It’s those payments for my injuries that I get payment from Carl and not child support for Betty as I had claimed before. Again I am very sorry for deceiving you both and I hope that you will forgive me. Anyway this story is not all about bad things. While Jim was helping me recover, we fell very much in love and were married. Jenny you were conceived on our wedding night which is why you two girls are so close together in age but have different fathers. Jim loved you both very much and I miss him every day. You girls and him were blessings in my life in bleak times.”

“So why did you decide to raise me as Tony?”

“Just because someone is in prison is not any guarantee that they would stay there. We had a protective order against Carl for both Tony and I which I’ve gotten to extend to you now, Jenny. However, I knew that if Carl had broken out of prison to kidnap Tony, then he would ignore the protective order too. The only way it would work is if he had not broken any laws yet and that breaking the protective order would cancel his parole and him be taken back to prison. I thought that if Carl thought that I was raising Tony as my son and Tony’s special challenge kept secret that Carl would stay put in prison. Dr Moss came up with the fiction of treating Tony’s girl parts as though it were a deep tissue wound that refused to be healed. For a while Betty, there was no way you could understand which is why I deceived you. I am really sorry that I did not stick to my plan to tell you when you were old enough to understand. It was partly because I wanted to keep you safe and raising you secretly as Tony was working so far, it was partly because I knew that having to face the challenge that you were different would be difficult. I was looking for a sign, any sign that you were rejecting your life as Tony but neither I nor Dr Moss could find any so we let things continue as they were.”

“When did that change?”

“When you had that accident with the canoe, Dr Moss was able to run some scans on you that she hadn’t had access before with them being new technology. They confirmed that you were at risk and that a decision had to be made no later than the end of the summer. I didn’t want to upset your life but I felt that I had to do something. Dr Moss told me that if I let you experience life as a girl for a period of three months then it would be enough for you to experience life as a girl. I reasoned that doing it for the summer would be the least disruptive and that if you chose to remain Tony, that we could construct something plausible so that the experience would not hurt your standing with your peers. We had come up with the plan that you would be offered a spot as a girl scout to help the troop out, even before we knew about the H1N1 flu going around. We knew that the Jonas Brother’s concert on the same night would draw away other potential girls so that it seemed like you would be the only choice. Dr Moss had enough pull with the event organizers and the girl scouts that no matter how many girls it looked like we had going into the WNBA game that our allotment would be one more than the girls we presently had available. “

“Why couldn’t you just tell me when you found out, Momma?”

“I wanted you to be able to life as normal a girl’s life as you could during the three months. I felt that it would be complicating for you to deal with the knowledge that     you are intersexed. I guess I should have had more confidence in the strong child that I raised because you seem to be okay with knowing that you are intersexed, just like you were okay being Betty in the first place. Protecting you from Carl, by letting you experience life as a boy first was my decision. but I always intended on letting you experience life as a girl too but the longer I waited, the more difficult a time I had figuring out how to allow you to gracefully change back if you chose being a boy over being a girl.”

“Momma, you made it so easy for me to become a girl. You had everything ready for me. Kimmie says that there are stories where mothers want to make their sons into daughters since they only value daughters. Do you have a preference of which I choose and are you trying to make it come out that way?”

“Sweetheart, I don’t have an agenda in turning you into a girl because I only like girls. I love you as my child no matter which gender you choose to continue your life as being. I can understand the question since you are finding out so many things that I have kept from you. This is not one of those things but all I can do is prove to you thru my actions that I am not trying to make you into a girl. I’ve tried to make it easy for you since I really feel like you should try it out before making a permanent decision but if it is now or at the end of the summer and you decide you want to go back to being Tony, I’ll make that just as easy as I can too.”

“I believe you Momma. I’m glad that you understand why I had to ask and why you’ll have to earn my trust back after this. I just know that with all the secrets out in the open that as much as I know you love me, I will see very soon that I can trust you again.”

“I agree with Betty, Mommie. I know you love me and I am so glad that you have shared all of this with me even though you did decieve me for longer than was really necessary since I am a big girl now!”

“I love you both Sweethearts and thank you both for giving me another chance to earn your trust. Now is there anything else that you would like to go over before we bring Kimmie in from playing in Jenny’s room?”

“Well there is one thing, Momma. You know...”

Well this is where I came in. I wondered if I could get out what I intended to say now. I did not feel that Momma was forced into deceiving Jenny and I but now I know that there were other things to consider. Momma loves me so much that she didn’t want me hurt in any way. I’m growing up now and she can’t protect me from everything, including the consequences of Paris sending that message to Carl.   

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The Truth Will Out

The children are understandably doubtful of Teri. But after learning the TRUTH, she eems to have done the best that she could. Her ONLY fault was NOT telling the TRUTH sooner. But what happened to Jenny's dad/ Could that monster have caused it?

Stanman

May Your Light Forever Shine

Stanman

May Your Light Forever Shine

Jenny's dad, Jim Hastings

Hi Stan,
Jenny's Dad was Jim Hastings. He rescued Teri and nursed her back to health and in the process fell in love and had Jenny a little over a year from Betty's birth.
It's apparent that by the time of Sugar and Spice -1- Jim has already died and the family is not in so much grief that they even mention him.

While it is not specifically mentioned yet how old that Tony and Jenny were when Jenny's natural father and Tony's adopted father, Jim Hastings died, It was actually five years before the start of Sugar and Spice -1- where Tony is nine and Jenny, eight. That would make Tony four and Jenny three when Jim died. (If I have missed a reference in the already published story that conflicts with this, then I will change it since this is the actual time Jim died.) While this was old enough for both of them to have fond remembrances of Jim, It still would not be old enough for either of them to really understand Tony's situation.

The decision was made by Teri that Tony would be raised as a boy and use the cover of the deep tissue wound to hide the girl parts before Jim married Teri and before Jim adopted Tony. By the time he would have had a say so in how Tony was raised, there was this well established pattern that was working. Jim died just before the time when Tony would have been old enough to tell if Teri had followed thru on the original plan instead of holding out to see if Tony showed any interest in being female.

At the time of Sugar and Spice -1- five years after Jim's death, Tony was very much a normal boy who would play gender neutral games with his sister but did not want to play girl's games with her anymore. That Tony took so well to being a girl was a complete surprise to both Teri and Jenny.

Remember that Teri felt more secure that Carl would not break out of prison and kidnap Tony if Tony was being raised as a normal boy even though Tony still had not had any surgery, due to the cover up.

Thank you for coming on the journey with us and I would like to make the rest interesting.

All my hopes,
Ariel Montine

All my hopes,
Ariel Montine

At last Betty

has realised that all Momma was trying to do was to protect her son/daughter, ..And what a price she so very nearly paid....Thanks Ariel for another lovely chapter...And did'nt we learn a lot about Betty's background!!!

Kirri