New Meaning : Sugar And Spice -16- Confession

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betty

New Meaning: Sugar and Spice

Part Sixteen ~ Confession

By Ariel Montine


Will Betty be able to cope when everything catches up to her?


 


New Meaning: Sugar and Spice

Part Sixteen ~ Confession

betty

By Ariel Montine

 

 

"I'm sorry, Mommy!  I spied on your meeting with Dr. Moss and your lawyer outside the firehouse meeting room.  I was going to confess this before Kimmie got us distracted talking about who loves whom.  I wanted to see what had upset you so much and I realize now that was the wrong way to find out how to help you.  Lady Alicia caught me and she told me that I should tell you.   I am so so sorry, Mommie! Would you please forgive me?"
 
"My goodness, Betty! Of course I forgive you! There has been way too much deception going on around here.   I hope you girls will forgive me for deceiving you both, too"
 
:"I forgive you, Momma."  
 
"I forgive you, Mommie.  Thank you for forgiving me.  I promise not to hide anything else from you.  I am so lucky to have a Mommie who loves me so much."
 
"And I am lucky to have two such wonderful girls!" 
 
It was such a relief that I had finally unburdened myself about the spying on Momma.  With the worry removed, the other things that I had not dealt with yet really came flooding in on me.  Not only was I burdened with the knowledge that I was a freak, Kimmie called it intersexed, but that drove my Daddie insane enough to hurt Mommie when it should have been me he attacked, the same Daddy who was about to know about my life as Betty.   On top of all that I had to really decide if I were a boy or a girl or all kind of bad things would happen to me.  The emotions welled up in me and the only thing that helped is that as Betty, I had no reason to bottle them up so I began to cry.  At first I began to whimper but soon I started to whail.
 
"Sis, What's wrong?"
 
"Jenny, would you tell Kimmie that Betty has some issues of her own that we need to deal with now.  Please ask her to be patient since this may take a while."
 
"Sure, Momma"
 
"You can tell me, Sweetie.   Has every thing that you've found out weighed you down?"
 
"Oh Momma, I ..."
 
"What sweetie?"
 
"I'm a freak and I drove Daddy insane and he hurt you."
 
"Sweetie, you are not a freak.  You've had a big shock but I'm going to get you the help you need, Sweetie."
 
Jenny came back into the room but instead of Kimmie, it was Joshua who came in with her.  
 
 
“Mommie, If I’m not a freak why couldn’t you tell me?”
 
“Sweetie, I’m going to show you how beautiful and whole you are."
 
"Betty, you really are beautiful.   I'm going to go home now and I hope that your Momma and sister can show you how beautiful you are just like you all showed me that I can be beautiful too."
 
"Thank you for understanding, Kimmie.  I want you to come back soon so we can work on your issues.  I'll walk you out."
 
"Thank you for helping me, Mrs Hastings.  Take care, Betty".
 
"Jenny please keep your sister company.   I’m going to walk Kimmie out and then get Dr Cindy and Dr Erika to come here to help.”
 
“Yes Momma.   I’m here for you Sis!”
 
Momma and Joshua left the room and Jenny hugged me close to her and stroked my hair.   She urged me to let it all out and that Momma would make it okay. After a while, I had cried myself out.  Jenny had a washcloth and dried my eyes.   She knew a trick to make my puffy eyes all better and she sprayed me with a nice scent.   I guess I was lucky that I wasn’t old enough to wear mascara or makeup yet.  Jenny helped me straighten my dress and then led the two of us to a full length mirror.
 
“Sis, what do you see in the mirror?”
 
“I see two very pretty girls in matching jumpers tights and mary janes.  They both have shag haircuts but one is a red head like her daddy and the other is a blonde like her momma.  One has pretty green eyes and the other has pretty blue eyes.  I guess the blue eyed blonde is me and the green eyed red head is you. “
 
“That’s right, sis.  I’m not a freak and neither are you no matter if you choose to be Betty or Tony, you are still my sibling and I love you very much.   You are perfect, Sis and Daddy had the problem not being okay with it.  He chose to do the bad things, you didn’t make him.   It wasn’t your fault.  You could not have done anything, sis cause you were a newborn baby.”
 
“You are right of course Sis.   I know it in my head.   I just have to learn how to feel it in my heart.   I guess Dr Erika can help me with that.”
 
“You really don’t have to freak about being a boy or a girl.  You make a handsome boy and the best brother a girl could have and the best and most beautiful sister.   You don’t have to decide immediatly, you do have time and you’ll have Dr Cindy and Dr Erika helping you find your own way so you’ll know its right.”
 
“I’m begining to see that.   I’m sorry for freaking out.  I guess I was rushing things.”
 
“It’s okay,   I hope you know that I love you, you goof!   It’s just when you are my sister, I get to tell you more with expectations but you know I love you as Tony too.”
 
“I know you love me as Tony too, Jenny.  You risked your life to rescue me as Tony.  I love you so much, Jenny”
 
Momma returned with the two of us hugging and showing how much we love each other and she smiled at her two daughters.
 
“Betty, Sweetie!  I see your sister helped you to calm down.  Dr Cindy is coming over to take off the appliance and show you how beautiful you are for real.  Dr Erika is on her way over too to talk to you.   We are all going to work together to make things as easy as we can for you.”
 
“Momma, thanks! I’m kinda glad I was Betty when it all caught up with me,   Jenny helped me let it all out and then helped me clean up and showed me that I’m no different than her and that we are both your beautiful daughters.   I’m glad that I’m going to have help to decide who I really am so we can avoid the bad things that could happen.  I’m sure that there will be times when I lose it again along the way but I am glad that you both are there for me.” 
 
“Sweetie, I’m glad that Jenny was able to help you.   I’m sorry that I didn’t trust you to deal with this before now.   I’m very proud of you.  Dr Cindy will be here soon since she lives close.  Dr Erika will be here as soon as she can but she has further to go to get here.”
 
The door bell rang and Jenny went to let Dr Cindy in.  The two of them joined us in the living room.  
 
“Thank you for coming, Dr Cindy.  Jenny helped Betty and she’s calmer now.”
 
“You are welcome, Teri.  I’m ready to care for Betty.  Jenny, it looks like you have been a good sister to her.”
 
“Thank’s Dr Cindy.   It’s easy to care for Betty because I love her so much.” 
 
“Betty, I know that you’ve had a big shock learming about yourself being intersexed.  It is a natural condition even though it is not common.  You are not a freak and we have the means to make things right for you.”
 
“Thank you, Dr Cindy.  Can you show me what I really look like?”
 
“Of course, Betty.  I have the solvent,   Why don’t we go to your room so I can show you in private?”
 
“I’d like that, Dr Cindy.”
 
Dr Cindy followed me as I led her to my room.  Momma and Jenny stayed behind in the living room to give us some privacy and to wait for Dr Erika’s arrival.  Dr Cindy had me lay down on the bed after removing my clothes and putting on a hospital gown she had brought for me.   
 
“Betty, I’m going to use the solvent to remove the appliance.   We can leave it off for a while so you can get used to your body.  I’ll teach you to put it in place and remove it yourself.”
 
“Thank you, Dr Cindy.   I am curious to see what I really look like.”
 
“You really are beautiful, sweetheart.  Once you decide which gender you want to be, we can fix it so you’ll develop normally.”
 
Dr Cindy removed the appliance carefully and with a mirror showed me what I really looked like on my bottom.   I had to agree that I did indeed look beautiful.   I felt less like a freak knowing what I really looked like.  Dr Cindy gave me a lesson on how to apply the solvent and glue to remove and apply the appliance,  Once we finished we left it off just like she said,  Dr Cindy left the room again for me to dress and when I had just about finished, I heard a knock on my door. I pulled on my last shoe and called out.
 
“I’m dressed Dr Cindy, you can come back in.”
 
The door opened and Dr Cindy came in as well as another woman that I hadn’t met in person but I recognized from her picture on her website.  It was Dr Erika!
 
“Betty, this is Dr Erika. Dr Erika, this beautiful girl before you is Betty.”
 
“I’m very glad to meet you, Betty.”
 
“I’m glad that you could come, Dr Erika.  Thank you,”
 
“Betty, I’m going to check in with your mother and then go.  I hope you both have a nice talk.”
 
“Thanks Cindy.   I’m going to chat with Betty in here and we’ll both come out to the living room when we finish.”
 
“Thanks Erika, I’ll let Teri know.  Bye Betty!”
 
Dr Cindy left and closed the door behind her.  Dr Erika and I got comfortable.   I sat on the edge of the bed and Dr Erika took my vanity chair and faced it toward me and sat down.  
 
“Well, Betty, A lot has happened to you in a little time.   Am I what you expected?”
 
“I guess when I heard that Dr Erika was going to see me, I pictured the actress from Being Erika.  That was a great TV show and it was the image of a red haired jewish woman that I envisioned before I saw your picture on the website.”
 
“I get a lot of that now, but I was Dr Erika before she was even though I am Dr Erika Johansen.   My natural color is auburn too only it’s all turned grey now. “
 
“You are very easy to talk to so we should do fine together.  Is it true that you went thru something like I’m going to have to go thru?”
 
“I am a transwoman, not intersexed, so some aspects of what you will go thru, I’ve also experianced.”
 
“So how does this work.   I don’t suppose it starts with a list of regrets and me time traveling does it.”
 
“Not really, Betty.   Let’s start with you telling me what’s troubling you, right now.”
 
“Dr Erika, I started out feeling like such a freak today.  My Daddy hurt my Momma just because I was intersexed and she prevented him from turning me into a boy then like the Dr wanted to when I was born.  Momma hid that I was intersexed by coviering my bottom and saying it was a wound.   I found out about both my daddy and me being intersexed today.   At first I was distracted becasue I spied on Momma to find this out and I shouldn’t have done that and I felt guilty about it since I was discovered.  Once I told on myself, the guilt no longer distracted me and the full weight of dealing with it all crashed in on me.   I was so emotional that I blaimed myself for Momma being hurt.”
 
“Betty, you were the most innocent person in the whole thing.  You were a newborn infant.  Others made decisions for you.  You are lucky that your Momma cared enough for you that you now have the choice to be who you really are.   Together we will discover just what is the best decision for you. I understand that you lived most of your life as Tony.  How did you come to be Betty, at least for now?”
 
“Mom and Dr Cindy set up a chance for me to be a girl scout for the summer.  It started with me taking the place of a sick girl so the troup could have all the girls they could to sell cookies at Philips Arena for the WNBA game.  They let Jenny ask me to do it since they knew that with her saving my life that I could not deny her.   It’s been okay.   I got into it more when I discovered that my friend Joshua was really Kimmie.  I pretended that I had decided I was a transgirl so I could find out things to help Kimmie since she was so scared of her parents that she hasn’t told them yet.  When I met the girl scouts as Betty, I discovered that Paris had a crush on me as Tony but had not told me.  She’s rich so she’s getting her Daddy to get Tony from my Daddy (which is where we said he had gone) so he can attend her birthday party.  Momma was scared that once Daddy knew I was living as Betty that he might do something to harm our family again,  Kimmie helped me figure out I was intersexed even before I spied on Momma and found out about it from her and what Daddy had done when i was a baby.  I spied on Momma to find out but Lady Alicia discovered me and told me that I should tell Momma what I had done.  I was scared for Momma and guilty about how I had found out so that distracted me.  I told Momma after Kimmie told her that she was the real transgirl.  I guess after I told what I had done every thing came down on me and that’s why Momma called you and Dr Cindy to help me.:”
 
“And how do you feel now, Betty?”
 
“I feel okay.  I don’t feel like a freak since Dr Cindy showed me that I look like a girl down there too.  I know that I still have to make a chioce between being a boy and girl so I can avoid some of the medical complications of me being intersexed by them being able to fix me right. My emotions are catching up to my mind as far as me being innocent of what happened when I was a baby.  I’ve forgiven Momma for hiding things from me since she’s been protective of me and she just didn’t know when to let go.”
 
“I feel like we’ve made a good start.   Why don’t you have Kimmie come with you to your appointment and we can talk about how best to help her come out to her parents.”
 
“Thank’s Dr Erika.   I’ll be sure to have her come with us.  I look forward to seeing you again.”
 
“I look forward to our next chat Betty.  I’ll go check in with your mother.  Good bye Betty.”
 
“Bye Dr Erika!”
 
Dr Erika left my bedroom and closed the door afterward leaving me in my room.   I wanted to think about what Dr Erika and I talked about and I knew that Momma would come to check on me after Dr Erika had left.  

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New Meaning : Sugar And Spice -16- Confession

Betty has a lot to think about, good thing that she has a loving family and support. And that icon is cute. </td>
<td><big><strong>Stanman</strong></big>
<em>May Your Light Forever Shine</em></td></tr></table>

Stanman

May Your Light Forever Shine