Unpresentable Heroes (part 1 of 3)

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(c) 2007 Trismegistus Shandy.

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License. I.e., feel free to repost or mirror it unmodified on any noncommercial site or list.

It was first posted to the tg_fiction  mailing list in mid-2007, then to Shifti.org.  It's the first of at least five stories about Nat Holcomb; I'm serializing the fourth on the tg_fiction list at the moment, the first draft of the fifth is finished and awaiting revision, and I have some ideas about a sixth story I haven't really started yet.

---

When Nat Holcomb's radio alarm wakes him up, he listens to it blearily for a while, thinking the news of an alien invasion must be a dream. But eventually he realizes: Hey, I'm awake. There really are aliens invading Earth. One of their landing craft is north of Rutledge. They've got a bunch of rover craft heading for Atlanta.

Nat Holcomb lives in Jonesboro, far enough off at the rate the aliens are travelling, but he is a forward-looking person. He's packing a few things to go visit his brother in Milledgeville when his cellphone rings. The caller ID says: GSPA. The Georgia State Patrol Auxiliary. Yeah, superheroes are needed in a time of crisis like this, but why him? He calls in.

"What? Do you think my power will work on the aliens? I don't see why it would, but, then, I don't understand how it works with humans... But I generally have to see someone up close to do them. You haven't actually seen them yet, have you?... Oh..."

Parvati Chalasani, the GSPA's receptionist, tells him to wait for his pickup. A teleporter is going to come after him.

Nat reminds her that he's moved to a new apartment recently; Fernspringer hasn't been here before and won't be able to teleport directly into it.

"No, this is another guy, a reservist like you. Zach Johnson; I don't think you've met him? Hang on a minute..." Nat is about to ask why, if this guy can teleport to his apartment without ever having been there, he's just a reservist, but he realizes he's already on hold. A moment later a sleepy voice says: "Hello?"

"Zach, we need you to transport someone to the front line. He's on the phone now, get the information you need from him."

"Hi, I'm Nat Holcomb..." Nat begins, but the other fellow interrupts him. "Where are you? Describe what it looks like, the layout of the furniture in the room, if you're inside, where you're standing... and if you're wearing anything breakable, like a nice watch or glasses, go ahead and take it off." Nat complies, describing the interior of his apartment with the precision of an architecture student. He takes off his watch and sets it in the bag he was packing.

"OK, I've got it. Stand close by the table, you can hang up now." Dead line.

Nat still hasn't hung up the phone when he hears a "Hi," from behind him. He turns, and there's a young black guy, about his own age but a few inches taller, with no clothes on. "Hi, I'm Zach Johnson. Do you have any coffee? Oh, and you can take your clothes off now, if you like things neat, or just pick them up off the floor when you get back. If you get back."

Nat wants to help out against the ravaging aliens, but he's not in a great hurry to face them either, and not a little perturbed by the sudden appearance of this prolix nude guy. He's grateful for the mundane process of brewing a pot of coffee to calm his nerves, probably more than for the coffee itself. He's had plenty of weirdness in his life since he discovered his power a few years ago, but not of this particular species.

"I really need to wake up more before we jump into anything dangerous. The coffee will help, thanks a lot. — I guess you've figured out I can't handle people's clothes," Zach goes on, taking a seat at Nat's kitchen table while Nat gets out the coffee fixings. "That's actually an asset sometimes. Once I got called in to help against this terrorist guy, he had a bunch of armor and weaponry, but it didn't cover every inch of him. I teleported right behind him and touched a bit of exposed skin for a moment, and teleported him out of his armor."

Nat sets the coffee on to brew and sits at the table across from his guest. "Wow," he says politely.

"It was pretty cool. But I expect we'd better talk about today. I'm supposed to take you to the front lines; what are you supposed to do against these creatures? They told me one of their precognitives thinks you can take them down."

Nat wonders if a demonstration would be better than an explanation, but decides to save his energy. Energy reminds him of calories, and he gets up and starts fixing some buttered toast so that he can turn his back while he explains:

"I change people's sex. — Maybe aliens as well, I haven't had occasion to try."

"Whoa, that's powerful." Long pause. "Why have I never heard of you?"

"Probably same reason I've never heard of you. I reckon it would be bad publicity for them to call us in too often, if the cases got reported in the papers. Or filmed for television news. But there's a problem. I have to see people up close to change them. As far as I've heard nobody's seen these aliens yet, or been able to get one of their vehicles open."

"Oh, that might not be a big problem. I think I could go inside one of their land rovers if I could see the outside clearly. Could be dangerous, though. I don't know how crowded the inside is liable to be. Obviously I've never teleported into a wall or table before, 'cause I'm still walking around, but there's a first time for everything. You game?"

"I guess so."

"If you'll let me use your phone, I'll call headquarters to get a fix on where we're going. Yell when the coffee's done."

Nat hands over his cellphone; Zach steps back into the small living room to make his call. Nat eats his toast, and, thinking he'd better get used to it, starts taking off his clothes.

When Zach gets off the phone and gives it back, Nat goes into his bedroom to call his brother.

"I won't be coming today. The GSPA think my power will help against the aliens for some reason, so I'll be in on some of the fighting... Yes, of course it's dangerous, but I think I ought to do it... Yes, I'll be careful... Um, if anything happens to me, you can tell Mom and Dad as little or as much as you think would be good for them to know. I love you... Goodbye."

He hangs up the phone and goes back to the kitchen. Zach is halfway through with a large mug of coffee and devouring a third (or fourth?) piece of toast.

"Are you ready?"

"I should eat a bit more. Using my power several times in a day wears me out."

"Do that, then..."

So Nat goes on with his breakfast. Zach tells a couple of more stories about his adventures with the GSPA, then about some practical jokes he'd played on his older brothers and a bully at school when he had first discovered his powers.

When Nat is full, he tells Zach he's ready.

"All right, then, let's stand up; take my hand, here..."

Now they're standing in a cornfield near a dilapidated barn. "See Rock City" is painted on its roof, but faded; it's been awhile since the state highway from which it's visible was a main route from Atlanta to Augusta. More eye-catching is the alien landing craft squatting on someone's new corn, about three times the length of the barn.

"Get down," whispers Zach, and pulls Nat to his hands and knees in the corn.

I'm going to have a lot of chigger bites if I live through this, Nat thinks.

"Parvati said the World Guardians have an observation post in that barn there. The ship's been quiet since the last time they saw a rover come out of it, but I think we'd better be cautious till we're ready to go inside."

So they crawl around to the other side of the barn, then stand up and knock on the door.

A costumed person answers. He looks distastefully at the two naked guys standing there.

"So you're the teleport and the mystery power?" he asked. "The Patrol said one of their precogs claims you reservists could do something to the aliens. I'll believe it when I see it. But sit down. Anything you need from us? We haven't any pictures of the inside of the ship, you know."

"I don't need any pictures to teleport into it," said Zach. The costumed guy who still hasn't introduced himself looks momentarily impressed, then controls his expression. "Some general idea about where the walls and hollow spaces might be would help, though."

"OK, I'll see if I can get that for you. I'm the Blue Knight, by the way. And you are...?"

"Have birthday suit, will travel," says Zach.

"Reserve Officer Holcomb," says Nat.

The Blue Knight looks disaproving again at their silly and nonexistent codenames, then points to a bench that looks a bit splintery for naked people to sit on, but anyway... He goes over to the other side of the barn where several costumed heroes and Army Corps of Engineer guys are working on equipment of various kinds.

Zach and Nat don't have to sit on the bench long before another costumed person comes to talk to them.

"I can show you some scans we've done if you'll come over here," she says, trying hard not to look at them close. She turns her back and returns to the bank of screens, expecting them to follow, which they do.

Zach studies the scans for a few minutes, picks out a place that looks hollow consistently on several of them, and asks Nat if he's ready.

"I guess so."

"Wait, what are you supposed to be doing to them?" the Blue Knight asks.

"Trying my power on them, seeing if it hurts them any," says Nat, not wanting to take time to explain or demonstrate. Zach notices this and decides it's time to go.

---

Their eyes had adjusted to the dim light in the barn, and suddenly they're in much brighter light. They close their eyes in reaction. The air is warm, as is the smooth surface their bare feet are standing on. Not much noise, some quietly humming machinery. Nat is holding Zach's left hand with his right.

"Too bright," says Zach, squinting a bit and closing his eye again immediately. "Let's turn... see if it's less bright the other way..." They start to turn and peek through cracked eyelids, but before they've made a half-turn, they hear a quavery whistling sound, and something reaches and touches them... dry, soft, papery, a few degrees hotter than a human body. A moment later it's wrapped around Nat's legs, gripping hard.

Nat exercises his power toward the thing, hoping something will happen. Something does happen: the grip on his legs relaxes and lets go, and the whistling turns into a screech: he hopes what he's hearing is panic. He squeezes Zach's hand twice, saying "Let's go," but they're already back in the barn. Their eyes having started to adjust to the bright lights in the ship, they're nearly blind here.

The Blue Knight is talking at once: "What did you see? Were you able to do anything?"

"It's way too bright in there," Zach says; "we couldn't see anything. Nat?"

"Um." says Nat. Then: "Something grabbed me, I think one of the aliens, I tried my power on it and it let go and started screeching. Can I have some water? And a blanket?"

Zach reports a bit more of what he felt and heard, and fills in the Blue Knight on what Nat's power is. Nat scarcely hears them. Someone brings him a bottle of water and a field blanket; he can't tell who, still blinded by the bright light.

A few minutes later, as he's starting to see things again, Zach comes and talks to him. "Hey Nat, are you all right? Do you think you can try that again? I just mean changing the aliens, you won't have to go in with me. I figure if I teleport in again, one of them may grab me as they did just now, and I can jump out again taking it with me. I'll be in the field behind the barn. You can see it in daylight and try your power on it, and we can get photos and stuff even if we can't capture it alive."

"OK, sure."

Meanwhile the soldiers and World Guardians set up in the field, taking positions in a circle around where Zach plans to come out with his captive, or captor, or whatever. Nat joins them.

"OK, be back in a minute, I hope..." says Zach, and he's gone.

In far less than a minute, there he is again, with company. Something blue-black with a few red spots at each end, about four feet long and two feet high with at least six appendages, has two of those appendages wrapped around Zach's legs.

As soon as he sees it, Nat reacts.

It's now about three and a half feet long, but thicker around the middle, still mostly blue-black but with complex patterns of bright red, green and yellow stripes at each end. It has the same number of visible appendages. Predictably, it's letting go of Zach's legs. Zach vanishes, reappearing at Nat's side.

Soldiers and superheroes move in with a net. They quickly subdue the creature, or so it seems; but it doesn't struggle long. They soon realize it's dead. Suicide? Shock? Something in the atmosphere? The World Guardians take custody of the body to be autopsied.

"Like an angler fish, maybe." Nat comments. "Or a bee, or something like that. I wonder which way I changed it?"

"Maybe we'll find out from the autopsy. Maybe not. Do you think you can do that again several times today?"

"I need to eat something first."

"Let's go eat, then. I'll excuse us."

---

Zach returns them to Nat's apartment. Nat gets dressed first thing.

"There's a bathrobe in yonder," he says, gesturing toward his bedroom, "hanging on a rack on the back of the door. Or you can borrow some of my other clothes if you want, if you can find anything that fits."

While Zach is getting dressed, Nat finds a couple of clean bowls and opens a large can of beef stew, then starts to spoon some out. Then, belatedly thinking of something: "Hey, are you a vegetarian?" he calls. "No," comes Zach's answer. Nat fixes two bowls of stew and puts the first one in the microwave to heat.

Zach returns wearing Nat's bathrobe and a pair of loose flannel pajamas while the stew is still heating. "That was pretty good," Zach said, "at least one alien dead, and I expect another one is pretty messed up and might not be much use for a while. Hey, can you change several at once, do you think?"

"I changed two dozen people at a time, once, when the GSPA were measuring my powers," Nat replies, as the microwave timer pings. "But it tired me out — I couldn't lift a paperclip afterward, could hardly stand up. And I hadn't any control, either; I changed everyone within ten yards of me, including myself, not just the ones I was aiming at. That was the end of that day of testing." He puts on a mitt and takes Zach's bowl out of the microwave, setting it on the table, then puts his own bowl in to heat. Zach falls to with great appetite, but doesn't let that stop him from talking.

"But if we jump into another alien ship, you could change all of them within range, and then I could take you back out — maybe we'd better go straight to the Grady emergency room, just in case."

"Did you hear what I just said? If I do that, I'll change you and me too. And I'll be too tired to change you back until tomorrow, at the earliest. Is that OK? And do you think you'll be able to jump right after changing sex? It can be a shock."

Zach pauses while he takes another bite.

"Maybe we'd better try it now," he says, hesitantly. "Change me into a girl and I'll jump home as soon as I recover from the shock — instantly, if I can. Do you have a stopwatch around here? Then I'll jump back here and you can make me a guy again."

"That might be a good idea. But we'd better finish eating first."

After a brief pause Zach asks: "So, have they ever called you in on a mission before? Or is this the first time?"

Nat hesitates. "There were a couple of jobs where they thought the shock of being changed would break somebody's concentration, let the GSPA get the upper hand in a fight. One time it worked, another time it didn't. Then there was the time they wanted me to trap a rapist. It worked — after I spent several nights hanging out as a woman in this area where he'd raped several women in the last few weeks, he jumped me, and I changed him. But she was still too strong for me to overpower her by myself, and by the time the police responded to my call, she'd gotten away. We put up ads in that neighborhood saying if she would turn herself in I'd change her back, but never heard anything." He doesn't see fit to say anything in detail about the other job.

When they've both finished eating, Zach says: "OK, I guess I'm ready." He stands up. "Go ahead."

"Let me go find my stopwatch," Nat says, going to his bedroom. He returns with it after a couple of minutes of rummaging through drawers. He presses the start button and exerts his power.

Zach sways a moment and recovers her balance. She looks down at herself, dumbfounded in spite of being forewarned. It takes eight seconds by Nat's stopwatch before she vanishes; the unoccupied bathrobe and pajamas collapse to the floor.

She doesn't return right away. After waiting for three or four mintutes, Nat picks up his cellphone, then realizes he doesn't have Zach's home phone number — she did say she was going home, right? Where else would she go?

He is just about to speed-dial the GSPA so he can ask for Zach's phone number when Zach emerges from the bathroom with a large towel wrapped around herself.

"OK, you can change me back now," she says. "Sorry I took so long."

"I understand. But are you sure you want to change back now? If we go into another alien ship and I exert my power full force, I'll change you then. It's probably better if you wait — else, you'll be female for as long as it takes me to recover from the effort of changing a couple of dozen aliens and both of us."

"Are we ready to do that, then? Hey, how long did it take me to jump out after --?"

"Eight seconds. But it will probably be less next time, especially if you've just changed back into a guy."

Zach pauses. "I guess that makes sense," she says. "I should use your phone to talk to the Police and ask them where they want us to hit next."

"Go ahead," Nat says, handing the phone to her. She takes it and tries to dial one-handed while keeping hold of the towel with the other hand. Nat turns his back and says, "It's speed-dial number three," then goes to his bedroom leaving Zach alone in the kitchen. He can still hear her talking.

"Yeah, I know it doesn't sound like me, but it is... That's right, Nat changed me. No, not for fun, I'll explain why later. Be serious. OK, where should we go next? He says he's going to go all out this time, change everything within range... Should we go back and hit that same ship near Rutledge, or hit some other ship next?... OK, give me a description. I'll hold, sure..."

A few minutes later Zach enters the bedroom, wearing the bathrobe and pajama bottoms. "Ready to go?" she asks. "They connected me to somebody at the World Guardians' headquarters, and gave me a description of another landing site, the one up near Ithaca, New York." Nat stands up and holds out his hand. Zach takes it in hers and they go.

---

Afterward, Nat can't remember anything about the landing site itself. Zach, so casual at the other site, is in a big hurry here; she looks at the ship and, as it seems to be the same shape as the other one, takes them into it, pausing just long enough to tell Nat to close his eyes.

Even with his eyes closed, the bright light seeps through. He doesn't waste any time exerting his power full strength: more than he's ever done before, he thinks, even that time at the GSPA training camp in Toccoa. She collapses to her knees on the warm, smooth deck, losing her grip on Zach's hand. But it's not long before Zach leans down and, just touching her shoulder, takes them out again — not right outside the ship, but back to Atlanta, into the emergency room at Grady Memorial Hospital. It's a good thing, too, because Nat is already losing consciousness. She is vaguely aware of Zach yelling something about a superhero injured in the line of duty, and wants to object to the imprecision of his terms, but can't make her voice do anything.

Later, she wakes up in a hospital bed, and is aware of an IV dripping lipids into a vein in her left arm, and a catheter going up into her urethra; she wants to ask someone about the invasion, but there's no one around at the moment. She falls asleep again moments later.

Later, she wakes up more fully. She fumbles around for a nurse call button and presses it.

"What's going on with the invasion?" she demands when the nurse arrives. "Have we beaten them off, or made contact with them?"

"Their land rovers turned around and went back to the ships," the nurse tells her, "two days ago, not long after you were admitted. And some of the ships have taken off and docked with the mother ship in orbit, but others are still sitting wherever they landed."

"How's Zach — the guy who brought me in?"

"He's fine. He's been here to see you several times — we had to assign him a storage closet he could teleport into and get dressed in."

Several times? Two days ago? "So it's... Monday? I've been unconscious for two days?" Nat asks.

"Yes. How are you feeling now? I'll check your vital signs — it's about two hours since I last checked you."

Nat feels fairly OK now, and says so. She waits until the nurse is finished measuring her pulse, blood pressure, oxygen saturation and so forth to ask if she can go yet.

"You'll have to ask your doctor," the nurse says. "Is there anything I can get for you?"

"Water," Nat says.

The nurse returns with a cup of ice water with a straw in it, and Zach. He restrains himself until the nurse has left, then bursts out: "Are you ready to go again?"

"Oh. Maybe not instantly, but probably pretty soon. She said she was going to ask my doctor if I could go yet."

"With me here you don't need a doctor to get out of here."

"It would probably make things easier later if I checked out properly. And if I teleport with this IV in my arm, it will probably be bleeding all over the place when we arrive wherever we're going. Oh — what did you tell them when I arrived? I know I didn't have my insurance card on me..."

"You're here on the Patrol's insurance. And I'm serious about going as soon as possible. The World Guardians have asked us to hit their mother ship in orbit next. I've already been up to our space station, looking at the alien ship. I also practiced jumping into vacuum and right back into the space station a moment later; if I miss the alien ship on the first try we won't suffocate."

Space. Free fall. Teleporting into vacuum. Sounds like fun.

"I really should get a little more rest before I try that stunt again," Nat says, after thinking a bit. "I haven't even stood up yet since I woke a few minutes ago."

"You want to try it now? Stand up, I mean."

Nat tries to do so, but between the catheter and the IV she's on too short a tether to do more than swing her legs round off the side of the bed. The nurse returns just then.

"You should have called me first," she says reprovingly.

"I want to try to stand up," Nat says. "Is that OK? And can you remove this catheter, please?"

"We should make sure you're strong enough to stand and walk to the bathroom, first," the nurse tells her. She shoos Zach out of the room before helping Nat untangle the tubes enough to stand up.

Nat is a little wobbly at first, but manages to stand up straight, and then walk two paces, as far as the IV tube and catheter allow. The nurse (Nat can read her nametag now: Sherry) picks up the bag the catheter feeds into, and carries it while pushing the IV pole closer so Nat can take another couple of steps.

"I think I'll be ready to go pretty soon," Nat says after she sits on the bed again.

"Let's see what your doctor says," Sherry replies noncomittally.

"Can you remove the IV too, or do you have to ask the doctor about that?"

"I'll ask him as soon as I can. Do you feel like eating something?"

"Yes, I could eat."

"I'll have dietary send something up. Meanwhile I could bring you a snack; would you like a popsicle or some ice cream?"

Nat opts for the ice cream.

---

A couple of hours later, after Nat has eaten, rested, and gone for another short walk with the nurse's help, a doctor finally comes to see her. He examines her and asks how she's feeling.

"Better," she says. "Stronger. If I didn't have this IV and so forth to deal with, I could easily walk further and faster."

"You were suffering from heat exhaustion and dehydration when you came in," the doctor says, "but you seem to be nearly recovered. Since you're eating and drinking, I expect we can stop the IV nutrition as soon as you work up to eating a full normal meal and don't get sick afterward. You're walking around, so I'll have your nurse remove the catheter now."

"How soon do you think I can go back on duty?"

"There are plenty of superheroes around who aren't recovering from dehydration. Let them take care of these aliens for a while. I won't tell you a specific date, but work up gradually to your previous levels of exertion."

Nat thinks about that for a moment, and changes tactics. "So, how soon can I get out of here?"

"As soon as you're eating normally and able to walk - say, three times around the nurses' station without getting tired."

When the doctor has gone, Nat telephones the GSPA and tells them what's going on.

"If you think you still need me, I can jump into another ship with Zach as soon as I'm discharged. But I'd probably better not exert my full power all at once again too soon."

"OK," says Parvati. "Take care of yourself. The situation seems to be stable for now."