God’s Will
A Whateley Academy Fan Fiction
By Straycat

Preamble: There are many Gods in our universe, and many Goddesses as well. Some sprout from our imagination, others are born to it, others still rise to the occasion when called. This is the story of a God whom everybody thought was slain after a fishing expedition hooked a snake the size of the world, and how he decided to return to our planet… just in time for high school.

Awakened

Unbearable pain. I saw flashes of light behind my tightly clenched eyelids and felt the tightening of my chest as I fought not to gasp. Even though the fog of pain one thing arose in my mind:

I Am Alive.

Pain was just life’s way of reminding you that you were alive, therefor you could only feel pain when you were alive.

Why was I alive?

a Poem, not exactly Dr. Seuss, but it's from the heart

I like Boobies, by Straycat

Bobby Hester needed a beer. It’d been a great day at work, and another deal was done and under his belt. Yes, this was a good day for Bobby. He felt so good he had decided to walk to his apartment from the office, but he was beginning to think he’d made a wrong turn as the streets didn’t look the same as from the back of his usual cab.

He spied a sign with the traditional bunch of grapes on it.

‘Ah, an Irish Bar, that’ll work for a brewski.’ He thought with a smile on his face. Looking up at the sign he saw its faded letters proclaimed “Arnold’s Bar and Girll”

The Other Night I watched a movie called "The Illusionist". The ending made me think of Melissa, my ex-wife and how much I miss her some times. how alone I am all the time and how I wish I was not.

Love may never die, but how can I forgive her what she's done?

Are these memories I have of the good times delusions or are they real? Was it really that good? Or do I only THINK it was that way?

When is it time to give up on hope? Even if it is only hope FOR hope?

Like the artist that cannot sell a single painting, the writer that cannot get a published, the musician that keeps playing dispite not being able to read a single note off a sheet of music. Like a priest that believes against all odds, and against everything this world does on a daily basis...

"I've Done it!" a voice screams from a room down the hall. The kids in
the lounge watching TV look up to the scoreboard to see who got today’s
lottery, looks like Jackie from room 403 is today’s winner. Drake
signed. Jackie was such a stuck up Witch... Gyllenhall burst into the
room with the weirdest looking assault rife.

"I've done it! My Masterpiece! Perfection! Now! All I need is a
volunteer for testing..." Gyll looked around the room with a wyld look
in her eye.

The Room fled, except Drake and Chilla. Drake and Chilla were
annoyingly known as the 'dynamic duo', for their fire and ice shtick
oddly complimented each other. They shared
a look, a look they have had a LOT of practice sharing of late. Every
time Gyllenhall had a break through they shared that look. Half
amazement that Gyll didn't blow herself up, half preternatural fear
that Gyll would try to blow them up, and half amusement as to the next
hairball scheme that Gyll would try to talk and con them into helping
her with while blowing herself up.

Most of the time they agreed just so they could watch the mad divisor blow herself up, time and time again.

"Whatcha got dis times, babe?" Chilla lost the unspoken coin toss.
Gyllenhall looked to Chilla with a wyld-eyed look of pure maniacal joy
of the slightly deranged, if not completely unsettled but mostly
harmless whack-job devisor who's creations only work because they want
them too, not because science or physics say they should... but there
was always that one time...

"BEHOLD Mere Mortals! I present to you, the awe-inspiring fear of.... THE BIMBO-GUN!"

Preamble: Magic is very fickle, and when the Goddess of Chaos is angry
at you for fouling up something she was quite entertained with, you
might as well forget anything ever going 'rite'.

(unfinished story at this time)

Two young lovers held each other sitting in a car just above point lookout. The windows were steamy and the kissing was passionate while Dire Straits wafted out of the stereo in a soft murmur accompanied by the chipping of crickets.
“Darling, there is something you need to know about me.”...

The Hall Of SHAME

Every office in the world has one of those boards called the Hall Of Fame where they post thank you notes from customers, well this is just the opposite.

I used to work for a Major International Computer Manufacturer in Atlanta as a Technical Phone Support Helpdesk. I handled internal employees as well as external customers, and had been for about three years... I had seen many "Odd" things regarding customer’s machines. Several of these calls where relayed to me by fellow Employees, customers, and other helpdesk agents. All stories are told in the first person for comical effect.

Every single last one of these are true, and that's the funniest thing about them.

“What? No more tests?” Carley asked.

Arianna grinned wickedly.

“Oh yes, there is another test. The hardest test of all.” Carley felt a chill running up her spine, but hedged a guess.

“Trying to keep your hands off me?” Arianna chuckled seductively.

“No… But that is an idea.” She winked.

* * *

“Fashion Scents? You brought me to Fashion Scents?” Carley asked perplexed.

“What better place?” Arianna asked archly as she strutted in the front doors as if she owned the place.

She held stock in the company, of course, so in a sense she did own the place.

A helpful sales clerk saw them approaching and beamed a warm smile.

“Miss Brockhouse! A pleasure to see you again!” her nametag read ‘Tammy’.

“Is Jolene around, dear?”

“I’ll call her at once, Ma’am!” and Tammy picked up the phone and dialed.

“Mrs. Waterly? This is Tammy down at the front desk. Yes, Ma’am, I’m sorry to disturb you but… Ma’am. I understand, Ma’am, but. No Ma’am, I don’t wish to be demoted to nightshift stock room… Please, Misses… Arianna Brockhouse is here asking for you!” there was an exclamation from the other side of the phone and Tammy pulled it away from her ear a bit too late to avoid getting it full in the ear. “Yes, Ma’am. I’ll tell her.” She hung up the phone with a sigh.

“She’ll be right down, Ms. Brockhouse.” She said with a smile.

Arianna leaned suggestively against the desk.

“Mind if I wait right here?” the girl giggled nervously.

“N… No Ma’am! Not at all.” She put her hand over her mouth.

“Oh my god! Ohmygodohmygod! You’re… You’re Carl Barnes aren’t you?!?” Tammy exclaimed pointing directly at Carley. She blushed.

“Um… My name is Carley, now… but…”

“Ohmygodohmygod! I can’t wait to tell my friends I met you! They’ll never believe me! Ohmygodohmygod! May I shake your hand, Ms. Barnes?” Sheepishly Carley stepped up to the desk and extended her hand. The young girl grabbed it with both hands and started pumping furiously.

“Ohmygodohmygod! I can’t believe it! Look at you! I love the fur! It’s so rich! And the color! Ohmygodohmygod!” The girl was practically bouncing with joy. Carley was blushing furiously and smiling.